I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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