Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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