Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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