Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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