Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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