her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
