i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wear drunk well.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
