need another drink. this is the easiest way
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
