I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
