How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
