I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
