It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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