But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
