"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
