walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
