return my video game
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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