if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
