what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
