I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
