id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
