So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
