We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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