the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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