dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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