I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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