I wish my penis had an off switch
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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