they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
