that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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