I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
