Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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