this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
