Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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