whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
