You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't deserve a penis
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize