I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
