I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
