I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
