At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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