I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
