wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am mentally ready for anal.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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