the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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