Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize