i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
