Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
