Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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