Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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