Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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