Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
