I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
