I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That accounts for only three of the penises
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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