So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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