Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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