it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
