I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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