i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize