yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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