Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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