i was born a porn star she said
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
