I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize