But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
