Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Duck Duck Cougar?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
