Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize