I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
