yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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