They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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