So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
