well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
