KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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