At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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