and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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