You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
