maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
