i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
