god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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