he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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